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That's How The Police Managed To Catch HimExterior - Day - Pinner's Drive
Vince is inside with Penny LES
"He's got that Posh bird him" Rita is over the moon that they are back together Les is playing it cool. She is selectively recalling the wedding that never was and Les is trying make her remember the bitterness. Rita is having none of it RITA
"Whose side were are you on ?" LES
"Just putting it in perspective" RITA
"I'm a mother that's the only perspective I need" Vince and Penny emerge and Rita is full of compliments Les shows where Vince's gets his style RITA
"I was just saying Les prettier than ever" LES
"Yeah - penny aint bad either"
They are off to a wedding reception for Penny's boss' (A J) daughter. Rita is momentarily convinced they are off to get married RITA
"I thought you were doing a Gretna Green on us" She begins to put her foot further in it with Vince RITA
"You'd make a lovely bride - well you did make a lovely bride" PENNY
"Yes" RITA
"I only wish you'd been their to see her babe" Rita is becoming emotional and Vince tries to get her off the topic RITA
"Excuse me - I've got something in my eye" VINCE
"You'll have something in the other one if you keep on" Rita recovers and offers Penny her ocelot fur coat - Penny is a little uneasy PENNY
"I used to have a fox fur but I sold it" PENNY
"Oh darling times are hard are they ?" Vince tries to stop an argument breaking out PENNY
"I don't believe in killing animals for their skin" RITA
"oh I don't agree with that kind of thing either but this one was dead anyway" They make their excuses and leave but the embarrassment is not over as the two short after them. LES
"If you can't be good be careful" RITA
"If you can't be careful get a pram" Les and Rita plan a visit to the Pinner's whilst Cliffy can be heard breaking Les' green house glass in the background Interior - Day - Warrender's Bedroom
NORMAN
"How was it for you ?" DAPHNE
"Oh the earth moved" NORMAN
"good good - same old magic Eh" DAPHNE
"Uhm - same old wand" A car pulls up and Norman goes to have a look DAPHNE
"Don't go to the window like that Norman the neighbours will think I married you for your money" It is Vincent and Penny - Daphne gets all fraught as they both try to dress. Interior - Day - Warrender's hallVince and penny have had to call back for the wedding pngt PENNY
"At least I only forgot the present Some people forget the wedding itself" Penny is now at ease with jokes about the time she was jilted although Vince still squirms. She kisses him and even smiles about it. VINCE
"are your parents in ?" PENNY
"There doesn't seem to be much sign of life" VINCE
"well that's nothing to go by is it. I was just thinking Pen I've Erh never seen your bedroom" PENNY
"Yes you have - the other weekend" VINCE
"But you switched the light out"
VINCE
"Nothing like a bit of afternoon delight to put the colour back in your cheeks Eh Daphne" DAPHNE
"What does he mean afternoon delight" PENNY
"I think he means those ice lollies he used to sell on the ice cream van" Penny goes to get the present whilst Vince wait in the car Exterior - Day - The wedding reception
ELAINE
"And what business are you in ?" VINCE
"I'm a bookmaker Eric" MARSHA
"Oh how did you come to meet Penny" VINCE
"Oh I wasn't in that business then I met Penny indirectly through her mother. I had to call around the house one evening to see Daphne on business" ERIC
"I see and what line were you in then" VINCE
"I was a Debt collector" Penny arrives and Eric and Marsha make their excuses and leave.
VINCE
"I suppose everyone calls you Nobby" A J STYLES
"Nobby" VINCE
"yes Nobby" A J STYLES
"why should people call me Nobby" VINCE
"well Nobby .. Nobby Styles" A J STYLES
"nobody ever calls me Nobby Erh nobody has ever called me Nobby" VINCE
"Fine I won't call you Nobby either then" Vince leaves A J STYLES
"Strange Young man" PENNY
"Yes ah ah" Interior - Day - Warrender's Living room
DAPHNE
"Its the Pinners" Exterior - Day - Warrender's driveRita Les and Cliff - the Pinners approach Interior - Day - Warrender's HallIn breezes Rita RITA
"lovely house babe I'm not saying your other one wasn't lovely but compared to this it was a dump" Rita goes into the front room with Cliffy as Les walk in LES
"its been a long time Dap ....... ne" DAPHNE
"Yes wasn't it" LES
"Sorry to spring on you like this" DAPHNE
"Oh that's quite alright I just wish I'd know you were coming that's all .. I'd have got some SPAM in" Interior - Day - Warrender's LoungeCliffy in messing with Norman's toy boat whilst Rita goes around saying how fabulous it all is RITA
"of course the kitchen's a bit pokey but there's only the 3 of you" They admire the antique furniture RITA
"you could almost belive this was the real thing .. careful babe that might be real" Daphne is carrying the coats around DAPHNE
"Would you like a drink ... silly question" RITA
"Pour us a sherry will you Daph" DAPHNE
"I'm afraid we haven't got any Australian sherry only Spanish" RITA
"Oh there're making it now ? It'll be the Japs next" They talk of holidays DAPHNE
"Have you still got that little chalet thing in Dimchurch ?" LES
"No we had to get rid of it" Daphne smugly assumes that it was due to the recession LES
"No it wasn't the money Daphne we started to get a lot of Hamstead types" Daphne is bemused RITA
"So we sold up and bought a villa on the Algarve" DAPHNE
"Portugal ?" RITA
"Dunno only been there once - £50,00 and its only got 2 bedrooms - criminal aint it Daph" Les offers the use of it to Daphne and Norman but Daphne declines DAPHNE
"I don't think the Algarve is really for us" RITA
"Not its very expensive" The talk focussed on Clifford DAPHNE
"its probably some minor psychiatric disorder. A frontal lobotomy or a clip round the ear should do the trick" RITA
"yeah love him .. Cliffy put that down before Mummy kicks your teeth in" Rita leaves for the bathroom and Les and Daphne talk for this first time about the marriage that never was DAPHNE
"What I do still find slightly ironic is your entire family turned up in their Cortinas and Dormobiles and suede chucka boots they made the avenue look like a starting point for an illegal hare coursing event. Yes every single member of your entire family turned up ... except one" Daphne tries to rationalize how live has moved on DAPHNE
"Penny is a happily married woman getting a divorce next month .. I've quite forgotten all the years of suffering the shattered dreams the pain the public humiliation your son bought on this family" LES
"Oh good" Interior - Day - Warrender's upstairs
RITA
"you're in the best place love - its pissing down outside." Exterior - Day - The Wedding
VINCE
"Pen - It was a an accident a misunderstanding I just reached up to get a glass out of the cupboard and me cufflink got caught up in the strap of her dress. When you entered we were merely struggling to untangle it" PENNY
"She wasn't wearing straps on her dress" VINCE
"no not by the time she finished she wasn't" All the wedding guests are staring from inside but Penny is not concerned with that as VINCE
"All this fuss cos me cufflink got snagged up in some bird's dress" PENNY
"Some bird .. it was the bride" Penny has had it PENNY
"don't touch me don't talk to me - don't even look at me - if we could choose oui time to die I would choose right now. If I never see you again for the rest of my life it would bee too soon - I hate you" VINCE
"I'll ring you monday" PENNY
"Drop Dead" Interior - Day - Warrender's LoungeLes and Rita are passing photos of the Villa to Daphne she is suffering quietly LES
"Do you like Lizards" DAPHNE
"No" LES
"So keep your door locked" They then proceed to talking about their Disneyland holiday PENNY
"All the characters from Walt What's his name films are walking around the streets .. Its not really them its men in costumes" The tales of Clifford's accident with Donald Duck's Flipper and photographs of Ye Olde World appear RITA
"Of course its all reproduction stuff and plastic beams Oh look Daph there's your sideboard" DAPHNE
"There is a passing similarity" The discussion move into their house RITA
"You must come round one evening" DAPHNE
"Must I" Penny bursts in crying RITA
"Had a nice time babe" PENNY
"Wonderful" DAPHNE
"Weddings always get her like this" Les take this as a cue to leave RITA
"Cheer up love worse things happen at sea" As they leave Daphne takes another tact DAPHNE
"Whatever's happened its your own fault" Daphne then explains the days events DAPHNE
"I assumed it was someone from the council estate lost their way I looked out of the window and their they were the Pinners sitting in the batmobile. I don't who they remind me of more the Beverly hillbillies or the huggies" Penny is being shown no sympathy DAPHNE
"Its all your fault Penny its you that dragged us into this time warp" Penny storms out as Norm wanders in NORMAN
"I had the strangest dream" Interior - Night - Warrender's LoungeDaphne reveals that it is 4 days later Penny has been lounging around and Norman has been mending his boat/ship DAPHNE
"No your wrong Norman" NORMAN
"Thought I might be" After the wedding Samantha and Nigel (the bride and groom) have cancelled their honeymoon PENNY
"A mild disagreement at the reception some incident"
DAPHNE
"Forget him Penny" PENNY
"Who?" DAPHNE
"You know perfectly well who - Thing" PENNY
"Oh him - I'd forgotten all about him at the beginning of the week" DAPHNE
"Whatever he's done he'll do it again" Daphne leaves to make refreshments Norman secretly hands Penny a letter that turns out to be from Vince NORMAN
"Are you going to meet him" PENNY
"Well I don't want to but I suppose I'll have to he's got something important to tell me" Penny asks whether Norman's cufflinks have ever got caught he answers no. The credits roll Norman remembers that a fact that a guy's cufflink did once get caught on a girls dress by accident and Penny is much relieved NORMAN
"In fact that's how the police managed to catch him" |